Merely Alive Read online

  MERELY ALIVE

  Lalae Mozie

  AuthorHouse™

  1663 Liberty Drive

  Bloomington, IN 47403

  www.authorhouse. com

  Phone: 1-800-839-8640

  ©2012 Lalae Mozie. All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

  Published by AuthorHouse 5/29/2012

  ISBN: 978-1-4772-1260-8 (sc)

  ISBN: 978-1-4772-1259-2 (hc)

  ISBN: 978-1-4772-1258-5 (e)

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2012909357

  Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

  Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

  Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

  Contents

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  EPILOGUE

  To Avery.

  Even though her name did not appear in this book,

  she is one of my loved ones and will always be.

  CHAPTER ONE

  I was on my balcony when I heard the explosion. I hurried to investigate, running downstairs and then to the front of my house. Stepping out the front door, I saw my younger sister lying on the street, on her back. I ran toward her and my mama. As soon as I got closer, my heart skipped three beats when I saw my sister, Elana, losing blood from a gaping wound. She was covered with gravel.

  “Mama! What happened to my sister?” I yelled.

  Mama told me that Elana had been running from a Nazi soldier because she had assaulted him. He was chasing her, and then a bomb dropped. “Elana was just in range and …” Mama trailed off. I knelt to the ground, my hand on Elana’s chest, terrified that she was going to die in the first four years of her life. The once quiet neighborhood was now the loudest, most terrifying place I had ever seen. The trees were ablaze, and the houses were crumpling down. I started to cry when I looked up and saw two Nazis coming toward us.

  I tapped my mama, and she froze. Then she picked up Elana and made a run for it. I followed. I glanced back and saw the Nazis running after us, aiming their rifles, getting ready to shoot.

  Up ahead, two more Nazis standing by a tree saw what was happening. They opened fire. One of the Nazis I recognized from patrolling the neighborhood shot me in the leg. Stumbling, I fell to the ground. Mama looked back, her face filled with horror. I motioned to her to keep going.

  I tried to find the strength to get up and keep running. The Nazis were still right behind Mama. Then it happened. A bomb struck, followed by a second, and then a third; it was another air raid. The black tar road was bursting up, pieces of it hitting me. The skies were red, and ash was falling like snow. Suddenly, all I could see was black, and all I could hear was my mama’s muffled, panicked voice. I could feel someone lifting me and could vaguely hear another bomb hit the road. After that, everything was silent.

  I awoke to stinging pain. I didn’t remember anything, and I didn’t know where I was. There were blue curtains drawn over the windows, my mother was sleeping in a chair, and a tray of food was sitting on a small table. I realized that I was in Copenhagen’s hospital. I turned my head to see where the excruciating pain was coming from and saw a doctor cleaning the open wounds on my leg. I winced when he started to sew the wounds closed. He noticed that I was awake and tried to finish up quickly.

  He assured me that the worst part was over. I slowly started to get out of bed so I could go to my mama and wake her, but the doctor stopped me. He explained that I was too weak and needed to rest. I obeyed and laid my head on the pillow, only to find myself fall into a deep sleep.

  The next day, I woke up to sounds outside the door to my hospital room. I tried to get up, but all sorts of wires attached me to machines next to the bed. It hurt to just blink, and I felt very weak. I guess I must have made a sound, because the voices I had heard stopped. I lay still to see if they would start talking again. But then the door opened.

  The dark-haired woman who walked through the door was wrapped in a blanket. The woman looked at me, concerned, which made me uncomfortable. I got a strange feeling when she smiled at me. I couldn’t tell who she was or what she was doing in the room. I had the urge to run and yell for help but decided against it because I didn’t have the strength. I glanced at the chair where Mama was sleeping last night. A wave of relief washed over me when I realized my mama wasn’t in the chair. She was the strange, dark-haired woman.

  Looking back at Mama, I started to open my mouth when I suddenly remembered Elana. Something wasn’t right. Elana should have been in Mama’s arms right then. Where was she? I was about to ask when I choked on the horrible memory that washed over my eyes. It seemed to blind me. I started gasping for air. Mama rushed over to my side and started soothing me.

  “It’s okay, Maya. It’s okay,” she kept repeating.

  Once I had caught my breath, I rolled over on my stomach, ignoring the tugging of the wires, and started crying. Again my mama caressed my head, chanting, “It’s okay, Maya. It’s okay.”

  When I was done crying, I started shooting questions at her. “What happened to Elana? Is Papa all right? Does Papa know what happened?”

  Before she could answer, the doctor came in to check on me. He gave me a horrible tasting medicine that looked like a wizard’s potion. He then pulled Mama aside and asked her to step out for a minute.

  She came back a few minutes later with red eyes and rosy cheeks. I asked her what was the matter, and she said, “Maya … Elana is dead.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Driving toward our house three weeks later, I thought about how my sister and I had so much fun playing with dolls we had made ourselves. She would always take my doll and say that it was hers. I remembered it all …

  I woke up in the morning to the sound of cymbals—Elana’s cymbals. I climbed out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. While I was brushing my teeth, I thought about when my sister got those cymbals. My grandmother, now deceased, had given them to Elana on her third birthday.

  Once I was done, I trudged downstairs to find my sister ripping through a giant, brown box in the living room. Her cymbals lay right beside her. I asked my little sister what she was doing, and in her high-pitched voice, she said, “Papa sent us a package with goodies!”

  I flew to her side and started tearing the box with her. Finally we accomplished our goal and dug around all the wonderful things until we found the goodies. There were two dolls, one for me and one for Elana, as well as a big bag filled with candy, and some clothes for Mama.

  Elana shouted with joy, causing Mama to come running in. Mama, with a smile on her face, knelt down and gasped at the candy bag that Elana pulled out. We all were surprised, for there hadn’t been sugar since the war started.

  “Ma
ma, can Maya and I go play with our dolls and eat candy?” Elana pleaded. I knew Mama couldn’t resist Elana’s request. Mama said it was fine, but first we had to change out of our pajamas and then eat breakfast. We agreed to Mama’s conditions and ran upstairs.

  I helped Elana get into her dress and then brushed her hair. After, I pulled on an old, brown dress. I called Elana, who was out in the hall, and told her to come put her sunhat on. Elana refused, saying she wouldn’t wear it unless I wore one too. I did whatever it took to get Elana to put her hat on because she had very sensitive skin. She loved being outside and in the sun but hated wearing hats. I loved my sister so much and wanted to make her happy and keep her safe. I easily let go of even the most challenging thing, such as yesterday when she broke my favorite toy. All I did was laugh and kiss her on the nose.

  We ran downstairs and hurried out the door. Then I went zooming back inside to pick up the dolls and candy, and as I was doing so, Mama laughed and told us not to eat too much before lunch. Elana and I ran toward the sandbox in the backyard. I did a cannonball in the sand and hit the ground with a thump.

  My back throbbed with pain, but Elana was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down her face. Once I saw my sister so happy and laughing, all my pain vanished. Getting up, I asked her what was so funny. Still laughing, she said that when I hit the ground, she was right behind me, and the sand made a “wave” that had so much force it knocked her over. She landed on Sammie the cat, and he meowed loudly and ran off to the house. At the thought of Sammie being squished by Elana, I also burst into laughter.

  After regaining our composure, we started playing with our dolls. Elana’s doll had short, blonde hair and a long, blue dress. My doll had long, brown hair and a flowing dress. Each of the dolls seemed to represent its owner. I asked Elana what her doll’s name was, and she answered, “I will call her Ele-phant.” I gave a little snicker, and Elana sat down and pouted. I apologized and told her she could name my doll. That seemed to do the trick. In three seconds, she said my doll’s name was Kitty, and she was happily humming again.

  I asked Elana why she had named her doll Ele-phant.

  “Since this is my favorite doll, I named it after my favorite animal,” she said.

  “Elana, when have you ever seen an elephant?”

  “I haven’t, but I like them.”

  Later, Elana fell asleep in the sandbox while I was telling her a story. The candy bag was right next to her, almost empty. Picking her up, I started home and left the dolls and candy bag in the sandbox. After maneuvering through the door, I set Elana on the couch in the living room and then went to the kitchen. I told Mama about the dolls’ names, what the candy tasted like, and Sammie the cat getting squished. She laughed and then went out to collect the dolls and candy bag from the sandbox.

  I went up to my room and lay down on my bed. I thought about Papa and how he had been away at war for almost four weeks. I thought about Elana and Mama, how they were the only family I had in Denmark. I drifted to sleep and dreamed about Papa.

  Papa was running. Nazi soldiers were right behind him. One of the Nazis spotted me and aimed the gun at me. He pulled the trigger, but Papa jumped in front of me. Papa fell down and told me to run as fast as I could away from there. His hand dropped from my cheek, and he stopped breathing.

  I woke up panting and tried to calm myself by taking deep breaths. I had been having nightmares each night ever since Papa left. I went downstairs, woke Elana, and led her into the kitchen for dinner, which consisted of green beans and a loaf of bread. I decided to not tell Mama about my dream. I knew she would be worried and insist that I sleep with her at night.

  The next thing I knew, Mama woke me up from my dream of the past. We had been back at our house long enough for me to fall asleep in the living room. I ran upstairs, straight to my room. Ele-phant and Kitty were on the bed. I picked them up, and tears came rolling down my cheeks.

  Mama came in and walked over to me. She told me everything was going to be okay. In my mind, I was thinking, How can anything be okay? Elana was gone, Papa was probably going to die, and there were Nazis everywhere! And I was just a child, thirteen years old. What would happen when I became an adult?

  I told Mama I was going out to the sandbox to sit for a while. I reached the sandbox and laid my head on the soft, white sand, thinking about all the times Elana and I had spent there. After an hour or two, I headed back to the house.

  I entered the house, and Mama said, “Dinner is ready.” “I’m not hungry, Mama. I’m going to bed,” I said. Mama watched me leave with a pained look on her face.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I woke up to the sound of birds chirping. I got out of bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Upon reaching the kitchen, I froze. For a second, I thought I was still dreaming. I pinched myself to make sure I was awake.

  I ran to my papa and started hugging him so hard my arms felt numb. He picked me up with his massive arms and carried me outside to the porch. We sat down on the white, fluffy chairs that I disliked very much. They just didn’t go with the style of our house.

  I asked Papa why he came back. He looked worried. His face was all crinkled, and he had bags under his eyes. He turned his head away from me as though he was hiding from me or didn’t want to see my reaction when he told me why he was there.

  A couple of long minutes passed before Mama came out with a tray of all my favorite foods: rice with butter, salami, and a flourless cookie. Now I was getting really suspicious. I got so worked up in my suspicion I could barely sit still. I turned to Papa. He stared intensely at my hazel eyes and sighed.

  “Papa, what’s going on?” I asked.

  “Maya, we have something to tell you,” Mama said.

  “What is it? You’re starting to worry me!”

  Papa then stepped in. “Maya, you know that I have been working for the Resistance.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “Well, the last couple of weeks, we were trying to destroy the Nazi headquarters, but we didn’t accomplish our goal. Many members of the Resistance got scared they were going to get killed. Some of them went to the Nazis and reported themselves.”

  “Oh, Papa! What did you do?” I asked.

  “Well, the Nazis now know of our family and that I am in the Resistance.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  Mama spoke up. “Maya, until things are safe again, you’re going to live with the Coffmans.” The Coffmans were very close family friends.

  “They’re going to protect you and pretend that you’re part of their family,” Papa explained.

  “I’m going to live with Rose and her family? For how long? Will I see you again?”

  I started spitting questions at them like I was the machine gun the Nazis always carried around. After I had finished my parade of questions, Papa got up and took my hand. He led me to my room and took out the burgundy suitcase that Great-Aunt Talia had given me. He started pulling out clothes and piling them in my suitcase.

  “Papa, where are you going to live?”

  “Mama and I are going to have to live with Aunt Christian. Remember, her house is all the way across the country.”

  “Why can’t I live with her too?”

  “The Nazis will be suspicious of a whole family moving in with four other people.”

  Once we were done packing, I pulled on a clean dress and went downstairs. Outside, the Coffmans were waiting in their car. I said my good-byes to Mama and Papa, hugged them one last time, and walked out the door. I was miserable leaving them behind. What would happen to us?

  CHAPTER FOUR

  When we got to the Coffmans’ road, there were Nazis everywhere, walking up and down the streets like tin soldiers. There were many more than the last time I was there. Still, the neighborhood with all it trees, green lawns, and beautiful, big houses was so p
retty despite the Nazis. I loved Rose’s neighborhood. I asked her why there were so many Nazis, and she told me they had been hearing that some members of the Resistance were hiding there. Apparently, Resistance members had been hiding there ever since the day I was in the hospital.

  While asking her if they had caught any members of the Resistance, I looked out through the car window and recognized one of the Nazis. He was the one that shot me in the leg the day of Elana’s death. I gasped loudly, and Mr. Coffman almost crashed into a big oak tree because of the distraction. Mrs. Coffman rapidly climbed over the front seat and sat next to me.

  Hugging me tightly, she asked me what was wrong. I told her about the Nazi that had shot my leg. Once I was done telling my tale, she nodded her head and told Rose and me to stay away from the Nazis, especially “Leg Nazi.”

  Before stepping out of the car, I glanced around to make sure Leg Nazi wasn’t near Rose’s house. I quickly hurried to the door, with Rose right behind me. Once we got in the house, Rose led me to her room, and we sat down on the bed.

  I stared at Rose, looking at her greenish-blue eyes and curly, blonde hair. I loved her curls; they were so pretty on her. I often wondered what her curls would look like on me.

  She always had the prettiest dresses. Today she had on a navy blue dress with white flowers. I fell back on the bed and cried for a long time. Just being there with Rose, remembering the old times, made my heart break. Rose rubbed my back and quietly told me everything was going to be all right.

  I heard Mrs. Coffman call us down for dinner. Walking in the kitchen, I saw the most beautiful spread on the table. There was roast beef, asparagus, corn, bread, butter, soup, and so many other things that I hadn’t had since the war started. My mouth fell open, and my eyes widened.